Every program below is fictional. Every course is made up. Every graduate is, nonetheless, a very good boy or girl.
Undergraduates declare a major by the end of their sophomore year, or by the end of their first nap, whichever comes later.
The heart of Furrman and the reason the neighbors moved. Home to the nationally unranked Fetch program and the Squirrel Studies department, now in its 137th year without a result.
Majors: Fetch & Retrieval Sciences; Squirrel Studies; Barking & Rhetoric; Walk Theory; Applied Food Epistemology; Belly Rub Philosophy; Theater (Playing Dead track); Olfactory Chemistry; Constitutional Bone Law.
View canine coursesThe most selective school on campus, in the sense that the students select whether to show up. Faculty are unavailable. The dean is under the bed.
Majors: Applied Apathy; Gravity Studies; Box Architecture; Napping (B.A., B.S., and the terminal M.F.A.); Nocturnal Kinetics; Vibrational Diplomacy; Dominion Studies; Fluid Dynamics of the Self.
View feline coursesChaired by Gerald. All classes begin at 6:00 AM with a sustained vocal warm-up audible from Greenville. The department's motto is HELLO.
Majors: Mimicry & Timing; Mirror Studies; Seed Redistribution; Morning Vocal Performance; Dance (Head Bob concentration).
View avian coursesHamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, and one very ambitious gerbil. The Institute's Escape Artistry lab has never been located, which the faculty consider proof of concept.
Majors: Cheek Pouch Logistics; Cage & Enclosure Engineering; Residential Cable Studies; Binky Kinesiology; Wheeking & Vegetable Advocacy.
View small mammal coursesSlow, warm, and profoundly still. Fish may repeat any course for credit indefinitely. Turtles are on a 100-year degree plan. The lizards are on the ceiling.
Majors: Memory Studies; Castle Appreciation; Basking; Long-Term Planning; Heat Lamp Meditation; Vertical Studies; Tank Security (Offensive).
View aquatic & reptile coursesBuilt on the site of the founder's original hole. Teaches the hard skills of the household economy: treat acquisition, toy hoarding, and managing up.
Majors: Treat Economics; Household Management (Human track); Personal Branding; Toy Supply Chain; Under-the-Couch Reserve Banking.
View business coursesEvery Furrman student completes the core: Human as a Second Language, Counting Treats, Physics of the Zoomies, and Physical Education Education (a class about a class).
Core requirements: HUMN 101, MATH 101, PHYS 101, KINE 101, and one course in Comparative Religion (the Roomba Cult).
View general educationAdvanced degrees for the advanced animal. Also houses Pre-Vet, which at Furrman means learning to recognize the carrier and leave the room.
Degrees: M.B.A. (Master of Barking Administration); M.F.A. (Master of Feline Apathy); J.D. (Juris Dogtor); and the Pawstoral Fellowship, a doctorate in Being Very Good.
View graduate courses| Degree | Stands for | Typical time to complete | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| B.F. | Bachelor of Fetch | 4 years | FETCH 102 (Bringing It Back) may be waived if the student looks sad enough. |
| B.A. | Bachelor of Apathy | Whenever | Awarded to cats upon request, or upon the cat sitting on the request. |
| B.S. | Bachelor of Screaming | 4 years, 6:00 AM daily | Avian only. Neighbors notified. |
| B.E.E. | Bachelor of Escape Engineering | 4 years, or until located | Diploma delivered to the last known cage. |
| B.N. | Bachelor of Napping | 4 years (asleep) | Interspecies. Extremely popular. Commencement begins when the class wakes up. |
| M.B.A. | Master of Barking Administration | 2 years | Capstone consulting project with a local shelter. (The one genuinely nice thing on this page.) |
| M.F.A. | Master of Feline Apathy | 2 years | Terminal degree. Thesis show consists of not showing up. |
| J.D. | Juris Dogtor | 3 years | Bar exam is a literal bar. Students jump it. |
| Ph.D. | Pawstoral Fellowship (Doctorate in Being Very Good) | Already earned | Every applicant is admitted with dissertation credit for existing. |
Our honors program admits students who demonstrate exceptional goodness. Admission rate: 100%. Honors students receive a special collar tag and priority access to the sun spot in the library.
40,000 volumes, 38,000 of them lightly chewed. Special collections include the complete Bark Novel archive and a first edition of Where Did They Go? Will They Come Back? Silence is enforced by a cat.
Immersive semester programs in the Backyard Next Door, the Vet's Waiting Room, and Grandma's House (where the rules are different and you are allowed on the couch). Passport not required; harness is.
Filter by school, species, or level. Hit "Random course" if you're a dog and can't decide.
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